SOS, Thesis!

           During my first couple of years in the AB English program, the idea of how mentally, physically, and emotionally draining my college life would be, didn't really crossed my mind. I thought that, 

"Ah, it's just English right? Like you write something and speak something using the English language? EASY!"

              But, who am I kidding? I am now at the point in my life, as an undergrad English major, that instead of filling the empty pages of my past-the-deadline-linguistics paper, and unattended thesis, for goodness' sake!, I wounded up righting (see? it's supposed to be writing! duh!) this entry instead. Nice.

                 But to to tell you honestly, it was never easy nor it is easy. The fact that you have to write word after word, sentences after sentences, paragraph after paragraph, pages after pages, of anything that is 'intellectually publishable and passable in the standards of this academe', is so tiresome. As I said, it never crossed my mind how dreadful and draining these task could be. Before I would even scorn my seniors and upperclassmen of how annoyingly whiny they sounded whenever they complain of how HARD AND PAINFUL it is to finish writing your thesis just to graduate. But look at me now. Before I knew it, I'm stuck in limbo over finishing everything but too tired and scared to do anything.I'm so damn tired that even having the courage to deal with at least 5 pages of a not-okay-but-I-have-to-make paper can't even do. 

                Look! I have to get my shit together, okay? But everything just seemed so .... blank, like the pages in my document right here. So this is how it felt like for them. 

*SIGH*

Anyway, I just have to let this out. This:

"I AM ANNOYINGLY WHINING ABOUT MY UNFINISHED THESIS, PAST THE DUE PAPERS AND BASICALLY MY LIFE ALTOGETHER."

               I just hope that I can manage within this whole month of March to finish everything, GUSTO NAKO MU-GRADUATE. Seriously.

                    #struggleisREAL (Insert Lady Gaga's Till It Happens To You.) 

                    Well, that WAS probably the naive version of the younger me. 

                    Who says it is easy to be in the program? Who says it is easy to just write and speak in English? Who the hel even know this struggle.

Save our(my) soul, Thesis. Save me!

the GLASS: Trust Issues

I live in a world where you hang out with your friends hearing hard laughter around your circle or hang out with your virtual friends curled and hauled in a four-cornered wall you call your room. I am once an outgoing person..... but not anymore.

I learned to detach myself from people who either one that you can trust or I  know I can trust but is still afraid to deal with. I have been through a lot, and maybe that is the reason why I feel like I'm so detached towards everything in my life and each day, I've become farther and farther away from it all.

When I was in elementary, I've come to live separate from my mother since she found herself a new Home and a family to live with, far away from where I am, and left me with my half-blood relatives, her family, since I don't know who my father is -- not that they did not told me, but maybe because I don't give a damn. And maybe, that was my first heartbreak. The first time I've learnt that nothing lasts forever and that people builds trust just so they can tear it down. Of course, I know I barely thought of it that way when I was young, but maybe this words may OR MAY NOT suffice the experience of being left behind. It hurts. So much, that I tried to remember the pain by completely erasing the memory even the date or the year of my age. That was also when I started to forget the memories of childhood and the age I've been because they act as bookmarks for those events in my life where I could say I am alone and wished I was not born.

When I was in high school, I started making a lot of friends but still got hurt and betrayed that I pictured my trust as a glass being thrown and broken over and over. A glass that no matter how hard you try to fix it and put the pieces back together, it would not be the same anymore. I experienced another heart ache. The kind of pain that withdraws you to make friends and trust the people around you. The kind of fear that makes you scared to step unto a house with a wide open door or touch a delicious food served before you because it might harm you. I became detached farther away from the word Trust.

Today, I become too afraid, to trust people. To entrust my smiles, to fall in love. Even the idea of being so close to someone that you can't live without them is so painful to begin with. And yet, I am still waiting, for that someone who can never break my glass of trust. Someone.... who can help me create a me that is not afraid to believe to something.

I am still not afraid to find that someone, since I haven't experienced the shattering of the glass with him.

A Very Complicated Love Story

"Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them". The famous line delivered by Malvolio, Olivia's servant, from a letter he reads which he thought sent to him from her Lady Olivia.

(Malvolio reading the letter he thinks from Olivia)
[phptocredits to Krystel Galos]

William Shakespeare’s "Twelfth Night (or what you Will) is one of the wonderful plays i have witnessed. It illustrated very complicated love story. Viola loves Orsino whom loves Olivia who loves Cesario who is actually Viola. The story, the characters and the actors and actresses themselves were very awesome. The main leads: Viola, who is also Cesario was given to life by Veronica Grospe, Orsino was portrayed by April Al Ian Jacob, and Olivia was well enacted by Joan Moreno.

Furthermore, other characters made the production very enthusing and amusing. Such that of Sir Tobi Belch, Olivia’s uncle; Sir Andrew, Sir Tobi’s friend; Maria, Olivia’s damsel; the fool, who sings well; Antonio, the one who saved Sebastian from drowning; Sebastian, Viola’s sister, who survived at the ship wreck; and Malvolio, a servant who is so in love with his Lady Olivia.

The complicated love story was resolve when Viola, dressing up as Cesario, finally meets Sebastian, which she thought that had already died. The people around them got confused, especially Olivia and Orsino, because the both of them, Cesario/Viola and Sebastian, looked like the other. The way they dressed, acted, and talked were all likely the same. That is why, Viola had to tell the whole truth that she really is a lady and Cesario is just an impostor. But she is even thankful for what had happened, because her brother, Sebastian was alive.

 Right then and there, Olivia accepted Sebastian, because she was already in love with him. And Orsino, despite the revelation of Viola, accepted the truth that Cesario is actually Viola and that she loves him. Orsino had even accepted the love of Viola for him because he then realized how much Viola loved him, and that she had loved him for a long time.

Twelfth Night or What You Will was presented by the ABEO Playhouse in cooperation with the English 145 Dramatics and Stagecraft class, held at the Mini Theater last March 8. It is not just a brilliant work of William Shakespeare; it is a marvelous and epic love story. The plot of the story was not really impossible, the actors and the whole production brought it out to life.

Twelfth Night is indeed a very complicated, yet it is a wonderful love story that tells that age doesn’t matter and being at any circumstance in life is not a hindrance to love.

Distilled Story: A Trend for Literature

    It is really interesting to know a new technique that could enhance learning and the comprehension, especially of literature and linguistic. Through Distillation - a process of increasing the concentration of, separating, or purifying by or as if by distillation - a part or a particular scene of a story is being highlighted. Through this, the exact actions and emotions are being implied. It is a riveting way to indulge oneself in understanding and comprehending a particular scene. Experiencing the process of distillation somehow interest me to further know about it.

["The Grave Giggers (photo credits to Farzeah Jaafar)]

The distillation of Edilbert K. Tiempos’ "Grave Diggers" is the first that I have seen. It presented by the students of ENG 4 sections M1 and M2, under Professor Jean Graciela E. Penola and Mr. Amado C. Guinto, last March 19, 2013 at the MSU-IIT Mini Theater. The distilled part of the "Grave Diggers" story focuses on Agustin and Nicolas digging for a grave on the cemetery that day. Nicolas is an in law of Agustin, because Nicolas is Sebia's uncle. Agustin is a young man married to Sebia, Nicolas' niece. Sebia, on the other hand, has tuberculosis. That is why, Agustin had to work hard for her wife's treatment, but he couldn't find a descent job aside from digging a grave for every funeral in their town. Nicolas, with the urge to help Agustin give Sebia her needs, confessed that he digs the grave of the dead at night to find jewelries and he has been doing that job for almost fourteen years, he also convinced Agustin to come with him that night. Even though Agustin has grudges and was afraid of doing such disrespectful act to the so long dead, he was left with no choice because he has to look for money to cure Sebias's illness. That is why, on that night, Agustin was forced to come with his in law, Nicolas. There, they dug the graves to look for jewelries in the bodies of the dead and they found out a skull of Pantanleon. Pantanleon is the lead of the flock of ghosts roaming around the cemetery. Along with the other two diggers Inggoy and Julian, Nicolas drank "tuba" using the skull of Pantanleon to serve as a shot glass as they drank while working. Nicolas and the two others forced Agustin to drink but he insisted, and a commotion ended the play then, with the flock of ghosts led by  Pantanleon  watching them. 

(Pantaleon, with the flock of ghosts)

     At first, i thought i would be so scary because of the setting and the technical effects, but as the play goes it’s getting funnier. Well, who are to blame? I understand the actors for having that manner on stage. It’s a great consideration, i guess, and that it was their first time. But it is also amazing to think that they were successful in presenting so.

(the CEMETERY setting of "the Grave Diggers")

                                                                                                                  

All in all, it is a nice start, both for the actors, the production and the process of distillation itself. It is really refreshing to associate this process on literature and linguistic aside from using it in science. Distillation is a new wonderful way to go deeper to the world of literature and linguistic.

#1 Three in One: One to Remember

     In this modernize world, not all of us would talk about and look back to where our roots come from. Seldom have I heard of people who talks about of our historical background and cultures as their topic for a simple conversation. Of course, not to those who are currently studying such. That is why; it is amazing to witness a theatrical performance depicting the culture of the tri-people in Mindanao.

     “Tatlo sa Isa”, is story of the three people in one island, particularly, the Lumads, the Christian settlers and the Muslims. The show was brilliantly performed by the well-acclaimed Integrated Performing Arts Guild (IPAG) through the medium of dancing, accompanied by traditional instruments.

     Different dance-stories were performed to show to show the tradition and culture of these tri-people. First was that of the Lumads. The highlight of this was their traditional courtship. Wherein, a man would put a handkerchief on the shoulder of a woman he liked while dancing, to show his interest in her. But then the woman would get the handkerchief off her shoulder to show her dislike to him. Another was the story about a bird (a man) and a fish (a woman) and when they started to like each other, a hangman came with an axe and an evil plan to kill the two of them. The bird fought the hangmen with all his strength to protect his beloved. But at the end, the both of them died and the hangmen succeeded in his plans. This story just showed what love can do; even to sacrifice one's life.

     Then, the culture of the Christian-settlers was being enacted. Most of which was their common and famous folk dances. The highlight was when they enacted the story of “Pilimon”, it is a story a fisherman who was not that lucky enough in fishing and who was so addicted in “Tuba”. To which, I guess, all of us know.

      Finally, the Muslim's Culture and traditional dances were being depicted; they were the “Sagayan”, the famous “Singkil” - a Maranao dance, “Sambi sa Malong”- which is also a Maranao dance and many others.

     Indeed, the show was so amazing and worth it. As we just sat back during the show, the feeling was splendid, for they have gloriously performed the dance-stories of the tri-people in Mindanao in one dynamic event. But the purpose of the show was not just to awe the audience with the colorful costumes, dances, gracefulness, stunts and all. Its purpose is to show us how our culture and tradition was, how wonderful it is and to teach us that even though we are now living in a modernized world, we should still look back and give importance to these cultures and traditions. Because these is our treasures and these was created by our ancestors for us.

we Swayed!

 It was when i  am in Third Year High School, that i danced with them in the tune of SWAY! Though we're not that much comfortable with our outfits and performing with the whole class watching us that time, but the moment we're done, it was like that feeling of great fulfillment and success!

Happy yet sad  i was looking back and reminiscing the past, i'm happy because we have such bonding during practice and rehearsals and sad because i won't be able to experience it again.

But surely, it was worth remembering. And i was glad. Because as what they always say: "You can not say that you have succeeded when you have already perform, you can say it only when you prove that all of you, altogether, you made a bond that can never be break."

the BEST of FRIENDS

In life, it is a true thing that friends come and go. But there would always who will stay. they were the one's who see my anger behind my silence, love behind my uncertainty and trust behind my physical appearance.

We might not be together, physically, but emotionally, you remain in my heart forever. i love you mga dai, NAISAH and CHERFLOR. you will always be my BEST FRIENDS.