SOS, Thesis!

           During my first couple of years in the AB English program, the idea of how mentally, physically, and emotionally draining my college life would be, didn't really crossed my mind. I thought that, 

"Ah, it's just English right? Like you write something and speak something using the English language? EASY!"

              But, who am I kidding? I am now at the point in my life, as an undergrad English major, that instead of filling the empty pages of my past-the-deadline-linguistics paper, and unattended thesis, for goodness' sake!, I wounded up righting (see? it's supposed to be writing! duh!) this entry instead. Nice.

                 But to to tell you honestly, it was never easy nor it is easy. The fact that you have to write word after word, sentences after sentences, paragraph after paragraph, pages after pages, of anything that is 'intellectually publishable and passable in the standards of this academe', is so tiresome. As I said, it never crossed my mind how dreadful and draining these task could be. Before I would even scorn my seniors and upperclassmen of how annoyingly whiny they sounded whenever they complain of how HARD AND PAINFUL it is to finish writing your thesis just to graduate. But look at me now. Before I knew it, I'm stuck in limbo over finishing everything but too tired and scared to do anything.I'm so damn tired that even having the courage to deal with at least 5 pages of a not-okay-but-I-have-to-make paper can't even do. 

                Look! I have to get my shit together, okay? But everything just seemed so .... blank, like the pages in my document right here. So this is how it felt like for them. 

*SIGH*

Anyway, I just have to let this out. This:

"I AM ANNOYINGLY WHINING ABOUT MY UNFINISHED THESIS, PAST THE DUE PAPERS AND BASICALLY MY LIFE ALTOGETHER."

               I just hope that I can manage within this whole month of March to finish everything, GUSTO NAKO MU-GRADUATE. Seriously.

                    #struggleisREAL (Insert Lady Gaga's Till It Happens To You.) 

                    Well, that WAS probably the naive version of the younger me. 

                    Who says it is easy to be in the program? Who says it is easy to just write and speak in English? Who the hel even know this struggle.

Save our(my) soul, Thesis. Save me!